


Alvarado's Bathtub Boot Screech

by zonaskye



Series: Lavellan [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Solas - Fandom, Solavellan - Fandom
Genre: Dragon Age Prompt, Drunk Solas, F/M, Skyhold, Solas fluff, Solas is an Egg, Tumblr Prompt, drunk solas fluff, solavellan prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4895158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zonaskye/pseuds/zonaskye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas wishes he were more open to new ideas, so he joins the gang at the Herald's Rest for some Friday night fun. Sera gives him something a little too strong.<br/>Alvarado's Bathtub Boot Screech description (codex entry):<br/>If you can read this, you haven't drunk it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alvarado's Bathtub Boot Screech

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt from Tumblr :)

“Solas! You actually came tonight?” Dorian yelled across the tavern from his spot at the bar. He had a large mug of ale in his right hand, and looked as if he'd been drinking for some time now, his eyes red, cheeks pink, and tone especially relaxed.

The apostate walked through the door of the Herald's Rest awkwardly, preferring to keep to his study on nights like these. However, he and a group of others had just returned from a tiring trip to the Exalted Plains, and he thought a few drinks might help him unwind.

Every Friday night, most of the inner circle of the Inquisition would gather here, at the tavern specifically for Skyhold residents. They would drink, play Wicked Grace, and tell stories, and every Friday night, Solas politely declined all invitations to these events, much to Lavellan's disappointment.

She had been spending more and more Fridays in his study, rather than going to the tavern, which Solas could tell was beginning to grow old for her. She was an outgoing spirit, enjoying the occasional blurry nights with her friends, but she insisted she was fine with the quiet evenings they shared.

So tonight, he wanted to show his lover he could step out of his comfort zone.

Varric, who was sitting by the fireplace close to Maryden the bard, held out his hand toward Blackwall, who placed a coin in the dwarf's hand.

“I told you he'd come,” Varric boasted, to which Blackwall grumbled something under his breath, and took a swig of brandy.

“Oi, elfy!” Sera called out to Solas, “come sit by me. I'll buy your first drink.”

Solas, extremely suspicious toward the rogue's friendliness, saw no other open chairs in the tavern, and took his seat on the barstool next to her.

“Cabot, some brandy for my friend here,” Sera said to the bartender, who nodded and quickly slid a mug down to him.

“Pardon me, Sera. But where is the Inquisitor?” Solas reluctantly took hold of the mug and sniffed it, his face curling into disgust.

“Oh she'll be out soon. Soon as she got back from your guys' trip, she passed out in her bed for the last three hours,” Sera giggled, “go on, drink up!”

The whole tavern was watching him now, most of them still in disbelief he was even there. So often he'd criticized his friends for their drunken adventures, they were all dying to see him put his foot in his mouth. He took a sip, choked, and slammed the mug down.

The Iron Bull came up behind him, laughing, and slapped him on the back, “Well done, Solas, you're a true man now!”

Solas grimaced, already feeling the effects of the strong alcohol permeate his body.

Maryden the bard went back to playing her guitar, and singing a lively song that made everyone in the room sing along and stomp their feet. Varric, Blackwall, and the Chargers began a game of Wicked Grace, The Iron Bull was loudly describing a dragon they'd fought last week to no one in particular, and Cole was staring at Maryden in awe, causing her to blush furiously and smile from cheek to cheek as she sang.

Sera was encouraging Solas to keep drinking, although every small sip was pure torture as it ran down his throat.

“If I may ask, what exactly is in this mug I am being forced to drink?” Solas asked the little elf sitting next to him.

“Oh, don't worry 'bout that. And no one's forcing you, Solas, but I promise you'll feel much better once it settles in,” she tried to sound casual, but the cheeky expression on her face made Solas wonder if perhaps he should ask Cabot for something else.

He stared down at his drink, not even half empty yet, and thought of Lavellan. His sweet, kind lover who he knew would be overjoyed to see him enjoying himself with others for once.

He took this thought as a challenge, and downed the rest of the contents in his mug.

 

 

______________

 

 

The sky had grown dark when Lavellan finally opened her eyes, her right arm numb from sleeping on it.

She'd been in a deep sleep, dreaming of being back with her clan somewhere far off, where no one could find them and hurt them. Being in the Dales had brought so many things to her attention that the responsibilities of being 'Inquisitor' had caused her to forget, and the majority of their time in the Exalted Planes had consisted of assisting the Dalish clan there.

Lavellan had fallen asleep so quickly, she had neglected to change into something comfortable and get under her blankets. She quickly got up, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and changed into a red jacket and black leggings, tying her knotted hair up into a bun, and finishing it off with a red bow. Solas loved when she did this, fascinated with the different colors and fabric varieties she had stored in her little wooden box her mamae had given to her before she left.

Skyhold was quiet as Lavellan traipsed through it, save for a few Orlesians, and Vivienne, hanging around the great hall.

“Hey, Viv. Would you like to accompany me to the tavern for a little while?” Lavellan knew the mage would decline, but she asked anyways. Vivienne was a dear friend of hers, despite their great differences, mostly because Lavellan refused to be on bad terms with any member of her inner circle. She often went out of her way to discuss Orlesian politics, however much she hated it, simply so she could become closer to the enchanter.

“Not tonight, my dear,” Vivienne replied, “you know how I feel about that filthy bar. And do try to refrain from calling me 'Viv'.”

“Suit yourself, Viv, but I hear Sera's got something planned for Solas. Should be entertaining,” Lavellan smiled, patted Vivienne's shoulder- which brought on a positively disgusted expression from the enchanter- and bounded off, silently chuckling at the groans she heard behind her.

Lavellan entered the Herald's Rest to one of the most shocking sights she'd seen since coming upon Skyhold.

Solas, who was out of his mind drunk, had taken Maryden's guitar and was standing on the bar, singing loudly in Elvish.

The entire tavern was clapping along and laughing hysterically, except for Maryden, who was staring very sternly at the elf, with her arms crossed.

As soon as Lavellan was in sight, Solas stopped his singing, got down from the bar with help from the Iron Bull, and walked towards her. He had an expression of pure awe on his face, as if he was looking upon an angel, and he nearly collapsed on her when he got close. When he regained his composure, he took Lavellan's hand in his, raised it high, and said loudly, “Everyone! Everyone, stop what you're doing. Listen to me. You-,” he pointed to Maryden, who had gotten her guitar back when Solas had left the bar, and was beginning to play agin, “stop that. This is important. This little Dalish woman is the only thing in this world that matters.”

The inhabitants of the tavern, aside from the inner circle, were staring at Solas in a confused manner, while the rest laughed at his embarrassing show of open affection towards their friend, knowing they now had ammunition to tease the new couple.

Lavellan was mortified, mostly for his sake, and attempted to wrench her hand away from his grip, but he was not finished.

“I love this woman. She is the prettiest girl I've ever seen and I wish I could marry her forever,” Solas's words were sloppy and a dab of drool fell from his mouth, “she is going to save the world and you should all worship her. Sera, I don't know what you gave me but it's the most delicious thing I've tasted and I need more.”

“Absolutely not,” Lavellan exclaimed as she shot Sera a look, fire in her eyes, “I believe it's time we got you to bed, Solas.”

Solas turned to look at her, heartbreak written on his face, “But vhenan, you've only just gotten here! You must try this brandy, it is truly the best thing I've ever tasted. Besides your lips...”

He leaned in to kiss Lavellan, but the wretched smell of the alcohol he'd been drinking brought painful tears to her eyes and nearly made her vomit. Her sudden step away from him caught Solas off guard and he plummeted to the tavern floor, hitting it hard. Mad giggles erupted from the elf, stopping her from worrying too much about the pain the fall had caused, and she knelt down to help him up.

When everyone in the tavern saw that Solas was alright, they went back to their own businesses, all but forgetting the apostate's embarrassing speech moments before.

Something struck Lavellan as odd- none of the others in the tavern were anywhere near as drunk as Solas. She scanned the room for her target, finally landing on a bright yellow pattern of fabric under one of the tables.

She let go of Solas and he sunk to the ground once more, but this time, Lavellan left him there, not letting her prey leave her sight.

She grabbed Sera's leg from under the table and dragged her out, causing the elf to squeal.

“What, in Mythal's name, did you give him?” She was livid, knowing her friend had something to do with Solas' actions.

“Ehh, wha? I didn't do nofin...” Sera was drunk as well, but that was from her excess intake of alcohol, which was not a rare occasion.

“You gave him something. You told everyone you had something planned for him tonight. So let me ask again, and if I get a vague answer, I'll cut your pants to ribbons and glue them to your hair while you sleep. _What did you give him?_ ”

Sera's eyes grew wide, and she seemed to sober up a little, “Alright, alright! No need to get violent. I gave him... Ah... some stuff you guys found in the Exalted Plains recently.”

Lavellan's heart nearly stopped.

“You gave him... Alvarado's Bathtub Boot Screech?!”

Sera saw the look in her friend's eyes, and attempted to dart away from her, but she gripped the rogue's arm tightly before she could flee.

“Inky, please don't chop up my pants! These are my favorite pair!”

Suddenly, a firm had landed on Lavellan's shoulder. She looked up to see Cassandra with a stern expression on his face.

“Let her go, Inquisitor, we can take care of her when you've had a chance to settle down. Besides, Solas needs taken care of, he is trying to take the bard's guitar again.”

Lavellan looked over to see her love trying desperately to tug Maryden's instrument from her, yelling something in broken Elvish, while Cole attempted to pull Solas away from her. Tears were streaming down the elf's cheeks, and she caught the basic gist of what he was saying, “I need to serenade the Inquisitor! Please, she must know how beautiful she is!”

Lavellan sighed, and let Sera go.

“This isn't over, Sera. You can't go practically drugging  _any_ member of the Inquisition, even if you don't like them.”

Sera stuck her tongue out at the elf and scurried away to the other side of the tavern.

Lavellan approached Solas, and when he saw her, he seemed to forget what he'd been doing and let go of the guitar, sending Maryden toppling into the barrels behind her. Cole helped the bard up, Lavellan apologized to her for Solas' actions, then she quickly attempted to get the elf out of the tavern. However, fatigue was weighing heavily on him, the alcohol taking its final toll, and he ultimately lost control of his legs.

Lavellan was muscular, a warrior by trade, but Solas was especially tall for his kind, and had a very athletic body, so carrying him wasn't much of an option.

Thankfully, Bull saw her struggling to drag him out the door, and came to her rescue. He hoisted Solas over his shoulder as if he weighed the same as a tiny bird, and they exited the tavern, Lavellan waving her goodbyes to her friends for the night.

Solas was mumbling drunkenly the entire walk back to his room in the rotunda, and now that there was a quiet moment to think, she realized it truly was an amusing situation. She thought back to the things he'd said about her, in front of everyone, and blushed furiously in the dark. He'd told her he loved her, in elvish, when they kissed on their Exalted Plains expedition, but confessing it in the common tongue for all to hear? That was certainly something she'd have to talk to him about.

They reached the rotunda and Bull laid Solas down on his couch. 

“Take care of this kid, boss. He may have some harsh opinions, but he sure does love the shit out of you.”

“Ahh, Bull, did he say or do anything before I got there?” Lavellan stopped the qunari before he left the room.

“Well, before he hopped up on that bar, he listed all of the adjectives he used to describe your, uh, ass. Only about ten of them were in Elvish,” Bull smiled cheekily, “ya know, he gave me some great ideas for how to describe that waitresses ass when things get dull.”

Lavellan flinched at the mental image drawn up by her friend, and quickly said goodnight to him.

When they were finally alone, Lavellan knelt down next to Solas and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.

“Emma'lath,” she said lovingly, “you should get some rest. If you need anything at all, I'll just be in my quarters.”

“No,” Solas grabbed her arm as she rose to leave, “please, vhenan. Stay with me.”

Lavellan smiled. She was still not used to him calling her 'vhenan', and it warmed her heart every time he said it.

She crawled onto the couch next to him and he wrapped his arms around her little body, stroking her hair and kissing the tip of her pointy ear. 

Even incredibly, mind-numbingly drunk, Solas was still the sweetest man around, and the two elves quickly fell asleep, dreaming of each other and the love that was blossoming between them.

 


End file.
